Thursday, July 5, 2012

Second Chances




Catarina- Joe Purdy
You and I
We didn't work out
Darling that was only the first round
If it's true love then try, try again
Would you really expect for us to win right away?
You know they say
Catarina won't you come and run with me now?
We don't deserve this
Second chance at this
Step up and take a weekend
Well we could pop a train or a one-way ticket out
We can just get in my piece of shit car and drive all night ‘til the gas runs out
We could stay right here, watch the city cave in
Lick our wounds until they're warm again

And I don't care anymore who sees this mess
‘Cuz you're the only one I'm trying to impress here
My dear, Catarina
Won't you come and run with me now?
No, we don't deserve this
Second chance for this
Step up and take a weekend
Step up and take a weekend

You and I, Catarina
Won't you come and run with me now?
No, we don't deserve this
Second chance for this
Step up and take a week
Take it and run with me
Step up and take a weekend
Weekend 











Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Anger


Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

-Aristotle












Monday, July 2, 2012

Queen jealousy, envy waits behind him.

I suppose envy floods us all. She makes us selfish. I know I am selfish on most days. I honestly don't worry too much about how others feel. Well, till the day it is brought to my notice. Then I realise how horribly selfish I am. All because I am jealous. Jealous of another person having more fun, having a better life, having a better day, it could be anything really. Just at that moment when I stop counting my blessings, I realise I am falling into an endless pit of misery. No good comes from constantly looking for things to be sad about. It takes one person to make you realise how foolish your tantrums are. But as you come to a screeching halt, you find yourself surrounded by a mess. Something you created simply because you were selfish. A moment of anger that will take days to heal. I can always learn though, just need to see all the wonderful things in my life and bask in all the yumminess. 



Sunday, July 1, 2012

Bold As Love









   Time has moved on and so has everyone. I am living the life I was always meant to and looking back, I have no regrets. My old blog provided comfort during times of confusion. But things have changed and I felt strange. The blog was lovely, happy pictures,words that were oozing with cheerfulness. The archives were riddled with happy posts that made me feel a little uncomfortable. Again, not because of regret or remorse but more because of my dishonesty about the way I felt. I have always tried to be optimistic on the outside. On the inside, I always had that burning feeling that somehow things weren't going too well. Most times all of us try to fit in, try to accomodate and make things work. We were raised that way. We were taught to be good people who did good things. And so every morning we pull ourselves and try to push our selfish needs behind because we have families and friends who count on us to be ourselves, and in turn help them be themselves. Running away crosses your mind now and then but then you push that away because that image of everyone you love reminds you to get out of bed and brush your teeth instead. "Hungry?" the blog was just the outlet for all the pent up frustration. It was there to let everyone know I was doing okay. That life was pulling me together and the images and memories of people I care for were making sure I got out of bed every day. 


   Now I want to start afresh. I am still trying to be as positive as I can be. I will still bake when I am stressed, and when I am not. My new style of painting has made me realise that my subconscious has embraced my new life, and this is making exciting things happen to me. I am learning to love who I am.  Trying not to live under blankets of insecurities. I am not perfect. No one really is. I am not happy all the time, I no longer try to please others by pretending to be. I am real. There is no longer a facade. There are no actors, smokes or mirrors. I am not sorry for the things I have done. I am happy I changed my life. I may make mistakes but I will never be lost. I still have scars but I am no longer scared. For I am as bold as love. The colours speak for themselves and everyday they help me express how my heart has grown. I now walk with my head held high. 




And the song that gave meaning to this blog;

Bold as Love- Jimi Hendrix

Anger he smiles tow'ring shiny metallic purple armour. 

Queen jealousy, envy waits behind him. 
Her fiery green gown sneers at the grassy ground. 
Blue are the life giving waters taking for granted, 
They quietly understand. 

Once happy turquoise armies lay opposite ready, 
But wonder why the fight is on. 
But they're all, bold as love. 
Yeah, they're all bold as love. 
Yeah, they're all bold as love. 
Just ask the Axis. 

My red is so confident he flashes trophies of war 
And ribbons of euphoria. 
Orange is young, full of daring but very unsteady for the first go 'round. 
My yellow in this case is no so mellow. 
In fact I'm trying to say it's frightened like me. 
And all of these emotions of mine keep holding me 
From giving my life to a rainbow like you. 
But I'm a yeah, I'm bold as love, 
Yeah yeah. 

Well, I'm bold, bold as love. 
Hear me talkin', girl. 
I'm bold as love. 
Just ask the Axis. 
He knows everything. Yeah, yeah.